Passwords, the key to my digital world and the bane of my existence. How could something that started out so simple, become one of my biggest headaches? Remember the old days when your password was your pet’s name or your favorite food, like beanandcheese?

One day, I don’t know when it happened, the password strength gauge showed up. I enter my password, beanandcheese, “this password is too weak, you must include a number”. Ok, beanandcheese32, “this password should be stronger, you need an uppercase letter”. Grrrr, Fine, Beanandcheese32, “nope, you must have at least one symbol”.  (sigh) How about, Beanandcheese32$? “No, since you have been trying to create a password, we have changed our policy, you now must use a passphrase”. A passphrase, what in the world is a passphrase?  So, now, a simple easy to remember password, beanandcheese, becomes “I eat Bean and Cheese at least 32 times a year $”.  Then the next time I try to log on to the site, I enter my new passphrase only to see, “incorrect password”. Maybe I just typed it wrong, I’ll try it again, “Nope, as I said before, incorrect password”. Ok fine, but you don’t have to be so snarky.

Now, I sit and wonder… do I try again and risk getting locked out or do I go for the “forgot password” option? Reluctantly, I click “forgot password”, which is anything but a straightforward solution to your problem. First, I have to tackle the security question, “what was the name of your second-grade teacher’s cat?”. What, how am I supposed to remember that? I don’t think I even know my second-grade teacher’s name.  Now come the verification codes, email confirmations and no, I am not a robot.  After what seems to be a lifetime I get to the “enter new password” screen, I carefully type my new password, “I eat Bean and Cheese at least 32 times a year $”, only to see “That password has already been used, please try again”.

Whatever, who needs DoorDash, I’ll just go get tacos myself.